


My Thoughts Are Always You

by I_am_a_Ruin



Series: Klance Soulmate AU [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Ace Spectrum, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Coming Out, Fluff, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Getting Together, Homophobia, Internalized Biphobia, Lance (Voltron) Has ADHD, Modern Day, Multi, Multiple Soulmates, Platonic Soulmates, Questioning, Romantic Soulmates, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Burn, Soulmates, Stress, Telepathic Bond, Trans Character, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, combination type ADHD, telepathic soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-07-10 17:41:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15954308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_am_a_Ruin/pseuds/I_am_a_Ruin
Summary: Keith is starting college this year and with all the sudden changes in his life, he's really not prepared to have a Soulmate thrown into the mix. Unfortunately for him, the universe gives 0 fucks what he's ready for because his Soulmate is now in range at this school. And because things are never easy for Keith Kogane, his Soulmate is also expecting a female counterpart. Which Keith is decidedly not.





	1. Painful Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> Friendly reminder for anyone coming over from the original version of this, it's a revamped fic of You Are a Sight to Behold (even in my head). However, this has undergone some massive changes so please don't expect too many similarities. :)  
> To those of you who are new, there's no real need to read the original. Do so if you wish, but it's a total of two chapters, unfinished, and pretty short. Also, being my first Voltron fanfic, it's not great.  
> Warnings:  
> Heavier than the original  
> Angstier  
> dealing with difficult topics  
> Ending is still TBD so... be prepared for anything

**Keith**

He was maybe shaking, but you couldn’t tell just by looking. His oversized hoodie hid most of his involuntary movement. He kept the article on despite the heat because it was one less thing to carry. He really couldn’t afford to have one more object in his arms. He was already wrestling with a pillow, too-heavy computer bag, and a carry-on bursting with random junk from home he couldn’t live without. 

Shiro was shielding his eyes from the bright morning sun and tirelessly holding up the little multi-colored slip of paper for the student helpers to spot. They were brought back to school to help the freshmen move on campus. The families wouldn’t have to lift a finger if they didn’t want to. Keith looked away from his brother trying to not let his heart hurt so much. This was a healthy, natural process - at that’s what all those adult jerks always said. 

Keith had always prided himself on being particularly independent. He was sort of forced into it when he was eleven. A person had to grow up fast in his condition. So he had just assumed he’d fair moving to college really well. It wasn’t his first time splitting off from family and this time it was his own choice. Besides, it wasn’t like Shiro was across the country. His brother was just an hour away. 

He had been so excited for this. Studying art and having the classes he hated balanced with what he loved doing. But now… he was frightened. What the hell was he doing?

Keith had half a mind to tell Shiro to clamber back into the car and drive home. They could try again next year! But then the helpers swarmed around the trunk, grabbing the larger boxes and piling them into the bed of the truck. One asked for the hall and dorm number and it was like a switch had been flipped and it made the least amount of sense. Instead of listening when the first one spread the information, every single one of them asked him again. And again. Keith just held his breath and tried to stay patient with them. 

“Okay, so you’ll drive to one of the further parking lots so that there’s room for everyone else to unload and catch the shuttle back to the building. Your kid here-”

“I’m not his son. He’s my brother.” Keith interrupted, rolling his eyes.

“Right. Well, you’ll be going back in the truck and walking up with your belongings to make sure everything makes it safely to your room.”

Keith looked to Shiro for a moment, taking a steadying breath. “Room 308, okay?”

Shiro smiled and nodded. “See you in a minute.”

****

His roommate was perched on the upper bunk tapping away at a laptop. He’d hardly glanced up when Keith entered and people stacked his stuff next to their desks. 

He was a little grateful actually. He didn’t really think he was capable of conversation right now. There was a knock at the door, startling him out of his thoughts. He turned and opened it to Shiro. 

“So, do you want to get unpacked first or grab some lunch?” 

Keith shrugged glancing up at his roommate. “Hey, are you hungry?”

The other kid didn’t even look over, probably unaware they were being addressed. Keith sighed. He couldn’t remember the guy’s name. It was some really unusual thing, like a bird or something. Shiro was staring really hard at the other boy. It was actually a little unnerving.

“Hey, kid. Do you want food?”

The boy finally looked up. “Oh! Hello,” an unidentifiable emotion passed through the kid’s eyes, magnified by his enormous glasses. “Uh. Well, lunch does sound pretty good right now.” 

Keith wasn’t sure he really wanted to come as the kid scrambled down the bedside ladder like a monkey. It was probably the fact that college kids had a knack for never saying no to free food. 

“We’ve never really eaten here. Is there a place you like in particular?” Shiro asked, always annoyingly considerate of everyone, even when he was the one paying. 

Glasses shrugged. “Anywhere is fine.”

They ended up at a small Mexican restaurant, Keith’s roommate (Pidge, he finally discovered when Shiro asked. Pidge. He needed to remember that.) scarfed down his food like it was about to be taken away. Shiro asked Pidge all kinds of questions about the kid’s life and it seemed to make him kind of uncomfortable. Keith normally would have nudged Shiro and distracted him, but he was feeling sort of out of it.

A migraine was swelling in the back of his head; a building pressure came from nowhere and just slowly grew until he felt like his head was splitting open. It felt as though his brain had tripled in size, grown too large for his skull. He tried to stay quiet about it, dropping his fork to cradle his head in his hands and bite the sleeve of his jacket. Shiro noticed anyways because he started crying from how excruciatingly painful it was. Which would have been totally humiliating if he wasn’t so focused on the blinding pain. 

Hands were on his shoulders, forcing him to lie down in the booth. A warm substance was being rolled across his forehead and placed along random points under his jaw, nose, and neck. His skin felt too oily but the pressure was receding to a dull thrum. He blinked groggily up at his brother who was fighting a massive grin. 

“What the hell are you so pleased about?” Keith griped, sitting up slowly, grateful that the masses of people in the restaurant didn’t seem to remotely be paying attention to them.

Pidge looked mildly concerned but had only ceased eating, fork hanging mid-air. 

“Come on, Keith. You know what that means right?” Shiro settled back into his place across from Pidge and Keith. He held his hand out across the table, a small container of essential oils in his hand. Shiro swore by them ever since his connection picked up his soulmates. 

“Uh, I have a tumor or something and am going to die?” Keith said, poking at his nachos absently, trying to not think about what it more probably was. He wasn’t stupid.

Shiro rolled his eyes. “Honestly, you need to start paying more attention in class instead of staring out of windows. You’re smarter than this.”

Keith shrugged, biting his tongue and offering a prayer to anyone listening that this did not mean- It couldn’t. He probably didn’t have one. He’d be better off.

“You’re soulmate probably either lives here or is a freshman like you!” Shiro exclaimed when Keith continued to sulk.

Keith shot Shiro a hard glare that lost all effect when another painful thrum shot through his brain. Iron filled his mouth from having pierced the inside of his cheek in an effort to avoid screaming. 

The pain finally simmered down and Keith heard it. It was just a gentle, indistinct murmur, and sent warmth seeping through Keith’s skin. Like a hug, almost. He shook the feeling off. 

“Can we go, Shiro? I really need to lay down.” Keith said, doing his best to stifle anything else trying to make its way into his head. 

Keith noticed Pidge was being especially quiet on their way back, but he chalked it up to just general awkwardness. He’d warm up. Or maybe not. Maybe he would be like Keith, guarded. That would be nice. Someone not trying to be best pals every five seconds but also not gone all the time to hang out with every single person. 

Shiro hugged him and promised to be back up for the first home game in September. And then he was gone and it was just Keith and Pidge. 

Keith climbed right into bed and passed out immediately. By the time he had woken up, his headache had calmed down to just… an indescribable heaviness settled into the back of his conscience. 

Pidge was by the sink cleaning his glasses off and hardly glanced up as Keith rolled out of bed. 

“Afternoon, sunshine. Feeling any better?”He inquired, sliding his glasses onto his face.

Keith shrugged. “Yeah. What’s the first event today?” 

“Our RA wants us to eat dinner as a floor, so dinner. After that is orientation.” Pidge explained, moving aside so Keith could pat down his bedhead in the mirror.

“What’s our RA’s name again?” 

“Rolo. Honestly, he seems like kind of a dick, but,” Pidge shrugged, opening the door and leading the way to the floor’s lobby.

Keith snorted hard. From what he remembered about their objectively attractive and way too laid back RA, it was a fair description. 

“-meet some super cute chicks.” Keith glanced over his shoulder to find out who was talking behind him. 

“I just hope the food isn’t awful, honestly,” the one to the left was saying, pushing his long bangs out his eyes. 

The one on the right snorted, giving his friend a playful punch to the arm. “Whatever, Hunk. You’re going to be making two-thirds of your meals anyways.”

Both boys were painfully hot, but Keith’s eyes were drawn to the one on the right. His eyes were shockingly blue against his warm, golden face. His hair was messy in that intentional way Keith never really understood but somehow really worked. Judging entirely from the pink bro-tank reading “Don’t laugh, it’s your girlfriend’s shirt,” he was also aggressively straight.

Honestly, he just prayed that everyone wasn’t going to be total assholes about Keith being gay. He’d had enough of that B.S. to last a lifetime. 

Hunk caught Keith’s gaze and gave him a wave, speeding up to a jog to catch up with them. “Hey! I’m Hunk, nice to meet you!”

Keith offered a small smile. It was hard not too, this guy was so over-the-top nice in a way that wasn’t obnoxious. It just put you at ease. “Keith.”

“I’m Pidge Holt.” 

Keith tried to not be super obvious at how he perked up at that. He knew a family of Holts and sure it wasn’t that uncommon of a last name, the boy really did look very much like Matt. And they had a daughter attending college this year. She was a bit of prodigy, so she was technically two years younger than him and Keith had never met her. Actually, those glasses looked shockingly similar to Matt’s glasses. The big circular kind that magnified eyes disproportionately… 

He made a mental note to find out if Pidge was in anyway related later. He knew for certain that Shiro would really like it if Keith reached out to the sister… K something. They’d had a pretty rough year. 

“The name’s Lance. Lance McClain,” the pretty boy said, pulling Keith’s attention back to the conversation. 

****

Dinner went semi smoothly. The cafeteria was utter chaos, a sea of people all trying to eat at once. The fact that they managed to fit all of the people from their floor in one table was nothing short of an absolute miracle. Keith ended up eating half of a chicken sandwich and listening to the surrounding conversation. It was all primarily get-to-know-you type. The awkward chitchat of “I’m from blank, I’m this many years old, and my major is blank.” 

They were then taken to an orientation. Keith really wasn’t looking forward to it. It would just be some bullshit presentation with some basic rules that every school had or whatever. It exhausted him just to think about the administration finding some manner to drag it out for a ridiculously long time and make them listen to the same generic junk every other school did. 

He’d know. He’d sat through enough variations of this in his time. Every school thought they were being unique. Or maybe they were just as tired as he was of kids being incorrigibly moronic. 

Except. It wasn’t that. At all. 4 kids of undetermined age gave an incredible presentation that made everyone slightly uncomfortable but it was probably the most necessary thing Keith had heard in a long time. They played out numerous scenarios about sex, some were outright hilarious, and other were more serious, and made a hush fall over the entire auditorium. Not only was it a very well executed demonstration on what consent is, what it looks like, and how alcohol is a pretty big influencer, they  _ also  _ showed some diversity! Specifically acting out scenes with some gay couples. Keith was unreasonably happy about this. It. It was such a nice change from the homophobic atmosphere he was so used to. 

His pleasant, happy bubble lasted long enough for him to text Shiro about it while the group was led down to a practice field and split off into groups by their hall and floor for some sort of competition that doubled as “floor bonding”. 

“Alright, boys! We are starting at number ten.” Rolo said, one hand on a cocked hip and gesturing to a crudely painted flag slightly off-center in the field. 

The woman waiting at the ten flag ascertained both groups were there and then read off a slightly confusing riddle about the lost ducks on campus they needed to solve, and then handed them a yearbook, a laminated drawn pond on a mat with (ducks velcroed upside down to them), and playing cards. It was a jumbled mess.

Lance, Keith, and Pidge crouched down on the ground with the mat while Hunk searched through the yearbook for the second clue. As they worked through it, the other boys standing in the back immediately bored, Lance kept offering up dumb solutions and getting shut down by either Pidge or Keith immediately. In just a couple of minutes they had it solved and Hunk called over the woman to give her their solution. 

As they walked over to the next station, Keith felt a rough shove to his shoulder. He glared to his side, opening his mouth to snap out a snarky retort but was promptly cut off.

“Bring it on, mullet.” Lance said with a dark glare.

Keith raised his eyebrows. “We’re supposed to be competing with the other  _ floors,  _ idiot.”

The insult only seemed to make Lance bristle more. “Yeah, well. I bet I can beat them better than you can!”

Their floor ended up doing terribly by the end of the competition. Lance had actually crashed into Keith at one point during the mock “Drunk driving” game. 

Fuming as they walked back, Keith muttered, “What’s that guy’s deal, anyways?”

Pidge looked up from his phone and followed Keith’s gaze towards Lance and offered up a shrug. “Probably an over-inflated ego. Or just a crazy competitive streak. I’d advise you not get sucked up in it. We’re paying a shit ton of money for this education. Focus on that.”

Keith wanted to roll his eyes. As if he’d let some asshole wreck his education. It was something he took seriously. After all, it was the only way he’d make something of himself. Something his mother had never thought plausible, apparently. “Obviously.”

Pidge didn’t respond as he unlocked their dorm door and walked straight to the wardrobe in the far corner. “I’ll be back.” 

Keith raised an eyebrow, watching Pidge gather some worn clothes, clearly meant as pajamas, and headed out to their communal bathroom. Without his shower caddy or towel. He waved it off, chalking the boy up to just being self-conscious or something and took the opportunity to change. 

He had just pulled on boxers when he felt the heaviness that had been sitting like a large stone in the back of his mind the whole afternoon swell. 

It didn’t hurt like earlier. There was just this overwhelming wave of incomprehensible emotion that took over, making him stand still. He didn’t know how people functioned on a regular basis with two people sharing a conscious space. Surely there wasn’t enough room. He definitely was feeling too crowded. Shiro was a goddamn magician having two soulmates. Keith had never had so much respect for that man, and he already had so much respect for him. 

A deep breath in, out and he forced himself to turn his t-shirt right-side-in before promptly dropping it to the cold tile floor. 

_ Hi! Sorry I didn’t say something early, oh my God. Super busy day. This is so cool!  _

Keith was white-knuckling one of the ladder rungs on the bunk beds. Otherwise he was pretty sure he’d fall over. His knees had turned to jelly just at those distinctly male tones. It was like a graceful reassurance from the universe after so many fucking years of torment. He’d heard stories of people identifying as gay and ending up with opposite sex soulmates and the possibility had tormented him to no end. Sure, they usually made it work as a solid platonic relationship but Keith had always thought of it as a slap to the face. People really liked to use that to disregard same sex attraction. 

He managed to calm himself down enough to release the wood and pull the shirt over his head as he mulled over a possible response. He wasn’t as stoked as his soulmate seemed but... He was coming around. Keith could make this work. 

However, his soulmate had other ideas, misreading the length of time it was taking Keith to reply.

_ Aw, are you a shy girl? That’s totally okay. I think that’s cute! Take your time. _

A cold rush dumped down Keith’s spine, ripping away the creeping feelings of warmth that had started curling in his chest at the sound of his soulmate’s thoughts. In its place, icy anger flared up, painful and stinging his lungs. His soulmate needed to be out of his head right  _ now _ . He bit his tongue hard and couldn’t possibly begin to describe the way the connection warped. He could still feel his soulmate weighing heavy in his conscious but it was more… subtle. Those tiny waves of emotion he had been feeling that gave the presence a personality was entirely gone. 

Shiro had gotten into enough fights for Keith to recognize this for what it was even though he wasn’t sure how he had done it. His soulmate was officially blocked with zero ways of communicating a damn thing unless Keith put the obstruction down.

It felt strange already, not having those indecipherable thoughts murmuring in the background. It was almost like a humming and it had… been comforting in a way. And now it was gone.

Not that it mattered. He had gotten excited over fucking nothing. Who the hell had he been fooling, thinking the universe owed him something? The universe didn’t give a shit. Clearly. 

He should have been expecting it. If he wasn’t so furious and feeling self-pity spreading frigidly through his body, he’d almost feel sorry for his poor straight, platonic soulmate. It had sounded like the sucker was so excited to meet his soulmate. He’d probably been looking forward to knowing his future wife-to-be his whole goddamn life, never once having to doubt that he’d get anyone but a girl. Platonic soulmates, after all, were so rare. Not entirely unheard of or anything. Keith himself knew a couple from high school and they were very pleased with it. 

Whatever. It was just going to be one more bullshit thing in his life for people to use to tell him he was confused. He wouldn’t allow that. Frankly, he didn’t really want another friend either. Let this chump think for a little longer that he had a shy female soulmate waiting for him for a few years at least. 

After kicking around some of his own possessions he brushed his teeth a little more aggressive than necessary and flopped back into bed, trying to stop stewing. 


	2. Teach Me How to Communicate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance is stressed but Hunk is the best bro. The Garrison Trio bonds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly I hate chapter titles but if you've been with me since Hetalia... y'all already know. Lol. But sorry about the wait between chapters. I wish I could give you a regular update schedule but I just don't have time. I'm sorry. Thank you for your patience.  
> Also, so if you check the tags you will see Lance has ADHD. I really want to be accurate with it but it's not the same type as mine so please have patience with me and inform me if I'm misrepresenting. It's super important to me that I do a good job with topics like mental disorders. Do not be shy about correcting me as long as you remain respectful! Thank you.

**Lance**

Lance was currently laying upside down on his bed, legs propped against the wall and head hanging as he stared out across their room. Hunk was busy job hunting during their small break this morning. Lance would have gone with him but he already had a job and was feeling too upset to be productive anyways. 

He was actually kind of hoping, as dumb as the idea probably was, that maybe gravity would take over and the mental block would fall out of his head, giving him free access to his soulmate again. It didn’t even dull the ache of having someone else in his head, stretching the capacity to its max and leaving him with a constant throbbing pain. There were literally no pluses in this situation. 

It felt sort of like standing on the opposite side of a moat with the drawbridge pulled up. He could still  _ feel  _ his soulmate there, which was comforting in of itself, but he couldn’t contact them. He wondered if his soulmate could still feel all of Lance’s emotions pouring out all over the place. 

The longer it stayed up, the more anxiety stirred hot in his belly. It wasn’t like he was unaware of how hard it was for people to like him. He always came on a little too strong and, more often than not, drove people away. The thought that he’d already managed to drive his soulmate away… His hand tugged on his lanyard, fingers sliding the keys around on the metal ring absentmindedly. 

Lance really wished he could figure out what he had said that had bothered his soulmate, but it wasn’t really that important. It wasn’t like he could apologize or start over. What if his soulmate never spoke to him ever again? 

Lance gasped at that and flipped out of bed. He needed to pace or something. Sitting still was driving him crazy. Luckily, Hunk was gone. Hunk  _ hated  _ it when Lance started pacing, mostly because once he started, he rarely could be stopped. 

Okay, so his soulmate had a block up. It probably took energy to keep it up, some kind of focus, right? Wasn’t it supposed to be like… unnatural to block out a soulmate? Which means, Lance would need to pay attention to the exact moment the blockade went down and have a plan set for when it did. Or… maybe Lance was making that up. Fuck, what if his soulmate could just leave it up forever and pretend Lance didn’t exist.

The thought of being lonely forever started to choke him. Oh, God, no. He couldn’t let that happen. His soulmate surely couldn’t hate him so quickly, right? Lance had just been a little overexcited! Maybe his soulmate wasn’t feeling well? It didn’t have to be  _ Lance’s  _ fault…

Even though it probably was.

He just needed a plan. Maybe he offended her by calling her shy? Like pointing out a flaw someone was insecure about. He just needed to flatter her then! He was good at that, he  _ loved  _ giving compliments. 

The door unlocked and Lance spun around on his heel to see Hunk entering the room. “Hunk! I need your advice.”

Hunk smiled at him. “Okay, but coffee first, bud.” 

Lance paused in his steps to greet his friend with a hug, spotting the two clear cups in his friend’s hand. “But it makes me sleepy.” 

“I’m not giving you, like, four cups,” Hunk snorted, passing Lance the one with the whipped cream and chocolate drizzle. “It’s just so you can concentrate at the floor meeting.”

Lance perked up, “Oh yeah! I forgot about that. Thanks, Hunk.” A small sip was another friendly reminder about how Hunk was the best friend probably ever. Lance pulled Hunk into a quick hug. “You’re awesome. You remembered the cinnamon and everything.”

“Yeah, I know. Don’t know why you keep doubting me.” Hunk laughed, setting his stuff down at his desk. “Okay, so what’s the problem.”

Lance’s sugar-happy smile fell right off his face as he remembered the uncrossable moat in his head. He pouted and took another long drink to savor the sweetness in an attempt to balance his sadness. It didn’t work. Damn. “My soulmate hates me.” 

He flopped down, sinking lower in his chair when Hunk chuckled. “So she’s still ignoring you, huh?”

“Yeah, I called her shy. What if I offended her and she never forgives me?” Lance cried, slipping lower and letting his fear overtake him. 

Hunk settled in his own chair across the room. “Remember that she’s your soulmate, Lance. The universe partnered you with someone perfect for you. I promise that whatever is going on, you two can work it out. She won’t ignore you forever. It’s unheard of for people to reject the bond after a one-sided introduction.”

Lance sat up a little, setting his drink aside in favor of playing with his dorm key. “I suppose that’s true. But what if she gives me a chance and I fuck that up too?”

Hunk considered this, taking a sip of his own coffee while he thought about it. After a few moments, he shook his head. “Nah, she’s going to love you, Lance. Promise. Just… try to be patient and be yourself.”

“Thanks, Hunk.” Lance smiled gratefully.

“You ready for the meeting now?” Hunk asked, standing slowly.

“Yeah.”

*****

The meeting covered basic information like what numbers to call in an emergency, the address to give loved ones so they could receive packages, etc. And a stupid icebreaker that Lance would have liked a lot more if Keith hadn’t spent so much of his turn staring blankly at Lance and proceeding to  _ remember  _ “heartfelt Hunk” and  _ “ _ punctilious Pidge.” But sure. He couldn’t remember “loyal Lance.” And Lance didn’t buy for one second that he really got confused when he said lanky instead of loyal after a very annoying prompting of “The name’s Lance, you-.” And sure, maybe Keith couldn’t remember like any of the other names and Lance totally had him beat because Lance was a master with matching names and faces, but stil! Keith was doing it on purpose. He could just tell.

What an asshole.

Well two could play at that game. If Keith was going to conveniently forget Lance, Lance would just happen to not invite Keith with them. “Hey, Pidge. Hunk and I were going to scout this place for some good restaurants. Hunk’s a bit of food fanatic. You in?” 

Pidge looked up from his notes that he was highlighting. It was a little weird, especially because the colored paper was messing with the ink, but to each their own, right? Besides, Pidge was almost definitely cool. Lance was certain Hunk and this guy would get along great. After a moment of eyeing the pair, Pidge shrugged. “Sure, why not.”

Lance didn’t spare Keith a glance as the trio headed out towards the stairs. Maybe Keith didn’t even care. Whatever, Lance didn’t mind either way, already getting swept up in the prospect of a new friend! Keith was most certainly not going to ruin his new good mood.

“What kind of food do you like?” Hunk was asking when Lance brought his full attention to the conversation.

“Peanut butter. Not peanuts because they’re super dry. I hate that. What about you?” Pidge tilted his head.

Lance intervened quickly before Hunk could get going. “It’s way quicker for everyone involved to ask this guy what his least favorite food is, trust me.”

Hunk, who had already been preparing a lengthy list of his favorite faltered momentarily. It took him a second to think about it, but he perked up quickly with an answer. “Anything not made with love.”

Pidge snorted. “So you two been friends long?”

“Since Lance moved to America in…” Hunk looked to Lance as his memory failed him.

“I was eight, I think, so…” Lance held up his hands trying to count the years back on his fingers. 

Pidge pressed a finger to the bridge of his glasses, sliding them back up with a roll of his eyes, “Second or third depending on your birthdays.” 

Hunk nodded. “Yeah. Lance and I hit it off right away. I think the smell of my mom’s chocolate chip cookies hypnotized him.” 

“Dude, if you ever get the chance to try her cookies, I’m telling you. Turn them down. You won’t be able to ever enjoy cookies ever again. Trust me.” Lance said as serious as he could manage. Pidge just laughed.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

There was a brief lull in the conversation as they made it down the final flight of stairs, all trying to catch their breath without being obvious about being winded. After a few minutes outside in the Sun, with Lance’s face tilted up to soak in the pleasant warmth, he said absently, “So how do you know Keith?”

“We don’t, really. I got paired with him by chance, the whole potluck quiz, you know? I actually know his brother pretty well, though. He…” Pidge’s voice cut out and Lance looked down at him. He looked a little anxious, mulling over how to phrase the end of his sentence. It spills out in a mock-casual, “He’s soulmates with my older brother.”

Lance knew exactly what the purpose of that statement was. It was the kind of thing thrown out trying to be casual to see how those around you would react about the whole “gay” thing. To find out if they themselves would be safe. He smiled at Pidge. “That’s really cool, dude! So why don’t you know Keith then?”

The concept of families not instantly merging as one because of a soulmate bond was a little baffling. Sure, he was perfectly aware not everyone was like the McClains, but still. 

Pidge shrugged. “They’re… uh… Kind of new I guess? And we live far enough away that there hasn’t been a lot of contact. Two sides of the school district, you know?. They’re actually pretty lucky to have been in range because it’s a big city and we live on the opposite edges. Though… if you buy into all the fate junk, then it wasn’t luck and they were just drawn together. I don’t know.”

Lance grinned wildly. He adored soulmate stories. It fueled his daydreams about what finally meeting his soulmate would be like! He opened his mouth to ask more questions about their meeting, but Hunk spoke first. 

“What about you? Have you met your soulmate yet?”

Pidge rubbed his hands together slowly. “Uh, no. I know she goes to this school though. We both just… aren’t ready to meet. There’s things we aren’t ready for the other to know.” 

Lance was reeling. “What? That’s crazy! OW, Hunk, hey.” He whined rubbing his aching arm and sending a pouty glare at his friend’s elbow. But then Hunk raised his eyebrows. A reminder to be tactful. “Sorry, I don’t mean… like do your own thing, obviously. Whatever makes you guys comfortable. It’s just…”

Lance trailed off, not knowing how to explain his own thoughts. Especially with this blockade in his head as a painful reminder of somehow hurting his own soulmate’s feelings first try. Not to mention, soulmates were seen as a pretty private topic. People could talk about them freely, but the actual relationship and conversations that happened over the connection… It was too intimate. 

Pidge was clearly uncomfortable now and Lance could hit himself for being an idiot. God bless Hunk and his angelic way with words, honestly. “I think it’s great what you two are doing. People tend to just rush into it right away without really getting to know each other. Besides, you’re both in a ton of debt right now for college, taking time to settle into this chaos, right?’

Pidge smiled appreciatively. “Yeah exactly. we both really want to focus on our education too.”

Hunk nodded in understanding and then his eyes grew to saucer-size proportions as he caught sight of a little market just off campus, right across the street. 

Hunk dragged them all over the store grabbing ingredients and hardly listening when Lance fondly tried to warn him there was no possible way they could  _ fit it in their fridge.  _ Pidge laughed at his antics and gave Lance a reassuring pat to the shoulder,“Don’t worry. I can help if you guys have trouble organizing. I’m weirdly good at getting lots of food to fit in a very small container.”

***

Pidge did manage to get everything stuffed into their fridge. And Lance made Hunk swear to never buy that much again. Frankly, neither of them could afford shopping sprees like that too often, even if Hunk’s job hunting became successful. 

The three of them were going through Lance and Hunk’s joint collection of video games when Lance froze in his place. He probably looked a little ridiculous: mouth agape,  _ Call of Duty 4  _ slipping from his grasp, and twisted at an awkward angle to get around Hunk as he had been reaching for one of his favorites. His gasp definitely caught Hunk’s attention. 

“What’s up, dude?” Hunk asked, tipping back to rest his weight on his heels. 

Lance stood, flapping a hand in Hunk’s direction. “Hush! I’m trying to think of something to say, what do I say?”

Pidge stared at Lance over his glasses. “What?”

“Wait is she back in your head or whatever?” Hunk said giddily, almost as excited as Lance right then.

Lance nodded, hopping up and down to try and expel some of his nervous energy. “I didn’t even notice right away. I don’t think she even meant to. Which means I have to say just the right thing so she doesn’t get scared off again.”

“Oh! Your soulmate.” Pidge caught on standing as well. “What happened last time?”

Lance shook his head, waving at Hunk to catch Pidge up while he attempted to at least  _ balance  _ his nerves and enthusiasm. 

“Lance maybe came on a little too strong, but we aren’t sure. She just… put up a block or something? I don’t know, he could explain it better but…” Hunk sighed, wringing his hands.

Pidge seemed to get it. “Oh, well. Do you care if I give input?”

Lance almost got on his knees right then and there. “ _ Dios Mio _ , please. I’ll take any advice you have, oh Wise One.”

Pidge snorted. “Obviously, apologize. And then ask what you did so you can do better next time.”

Lance blinked at him. “Okay… but in what words?”

“Oh for fuck’s sake. We can’t do all the work for you.” Pidge was teasing and he could tell but damn it this was like… his whole future at risk here!

Hunk met his worried stare and gave him a soothing smile, mouthing the words ‘you got this, buddy.’

Right. He could do this. 

_ “I’m sorry for last time. Whatever I did, we could… talk about it so it doesn’t happen again.” _

The block didn’t slam back up like he was terrified of, fretfully spinning the metal ring on his lanyard as he anticipated its sudden presence once more. However, there was still dead silence. The connection was still shaky (they always took a little time to be trustworthy, strengthening as they got closer like a radio signal) but Lance could feel some tinges of nausea in the far reaches of his awareness. Everything was distant and careful, like she didn’t want Lance to get any sort of clues from her. 

He huffed, slumping into his chair. “Nothing!”

“Did she put the wall back up, bud?” Hunk asked, already heading to the fridge to find some comfort food. 

“No. I guess that’s something. But she still won’t talk to me.” Lance sulked, a little embarrassed that Pidge was already clued into his entire soulmate situation, but too hurt to care. 

“Just be patient.” Pidge suggested, back to rummaging through the games. 

“Yeah, give her some time.” Hunk agreed, handing Lance a Midnight Milky Way mini.

***

Lance mulled this advice over the rest of the night, trying to keep himself from straining to feel literally anything over the bond. 

There had not been a peep the rest of the day and he was trying to be patient, really. Okay. But he still wanted to talk to her. He wanted her to know he was someone she could trust. Maybe if she got the chance to know him a little, she’d warm up enough for conversation. Simple things, nothing too revealing. Nothing that would tell her who he was and make her think he was trying to rush her into this.

_ “My grandma makes these really good garlic knots and they’re like… my favorite food. Don’t stay up too late. I hope you sleep well. And for the record, it’s okay. Whatever is going on, you take your time. Don’t feel pressured to do anything you don’t want to. Talk when you’re comfortable. Good night.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly would love to hear speculations on what you guys think is my plan further out. Who knows. It might convince me to add things. Js. lol. Feedback super appreciated.


	3. Take Care of Yourself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance's persistence is not doing much more than to grate on Keith's nerves.   
> Some fillers in this one but also background plot points.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't been lying this entire time that I had a third chapter in the works you guys. My beta is hella hella busy and I'm impatient cuz I've had you guys waiting for months and I just can't stand the guilt of holding onto it any longer. So. Prepare for it to not be edited the way I'd like it to be. When chapter four goes out, this will be properly edited. I hope you still enjoy!

**Keith**

Keith had never had garlic knots before. He was also the last person to have an understanding of the familial. Yet, there he was, suddenly unable to think of anything else. It was maddening, actually. 

Each class was a boring syllabus review and so naturally he daydreamed a little. A lot. Each fanciful thought had him almost salivating for golden, buttery garlic smothering his taste buds. He could almost hear his soulmate laughing at him over their fragile connection. Keith needed to pull himself together before he strangled someone.

***

_ I love the ocean,  _ his soulmate whispered as Keith surfed the internet again.

That was it. Keith was fed up. He refused to spend his entire Tuesday wondering what the ocean would feel like on his skin. If his soulmate meant the warm waters of California? Would Keith be able to feel the salt on his skin if he took a dip? 

No. This was completely ridiculous. He needed something more demanding, important, to fill his thoughts. He’d take the damn painful memories of Shiro over whimsical dreams that were bound to only hurt him in the end.

“Hey, Pidge?” 

His roommate’s head raised minutely to let Keith know he was listening. 

Keith took a deep breath, steeling himself to breach the topic. Just because Keith hadn’t seen Pidge in all of this didn’t mean the boy wasn’t affected by any of it. “So, you’re a Holt…”

Pidge whipped around at the last word, almost startling Keith with the speed of his movement. That…  _ look  _ wasn’t the reaction he’d been anticipating. At all.

“What about it?” There was something in Pidge’s voice. A tremor, a hitch.

Shit.

“My brother… he wants me to… Katie goes here, right?”

Pidge blinked at him, mouth opening, but Keith barrelled on. The last thing he wanted was to be totally insensitive and make his roommate hate him for the rest of the year. Shiro would kill him, even if it had been Shiro’s idea in the first place.

“I was just wondering if you could help me reach out to her. You’re her cousin, right?”

Pidge flinched, looking weirdly dazed and desperate. He kept opening and closing his mouth like a fish. However, then something crossed his face as though he had just fully heard what Keith said. Pidge deflated a little, relief visibly flooding him. “Yeah! Right. I’m her cousin. I would love to help you, but… uh, she’s kind of hard to reach these days.”

“I can imagine. I’m surprised I even got Shiro to be away long enough to help move my stuff.” Keith said, rubbing his face. 

It had been a pretty massive argument, actually. Keith insisting he could do it himself, Shiro was needed at the hospital. Keith could manage it; it was fine. Shiro wouldn’t hear of his little brother “taking this monumental next step” on his own. Keith let it go in the end. If Shiro wanted something, Keith owed him this. Anything was the least he could do.

“How is your brother doing?” Pidge asked quietly after a moment of silence. His hand closed his laptop almost absentmindedly but Keith took it as a sign that he really cared. It was the most interest Pidge had shown in Keith since they’d met.

Keith, in turn, adjusted his position at his desk so he was better facing Pidge, but kept his eyes trained on the plastic bins under their beds. “Not great? The day it happened…” Keith could still hear Adam screaming and no one would pick up their fucking phones and Keith couldn’t lose anyone else, not again- 

“You don’t have to talk about it, if it’s hard for you,” Pidge shrugged, his tone purposefully casual like he’d be fine to drop it. However, Keith could hear the tremble in his voice, the warble in trying to force the words out. This wasn’t just hard for Keith and somehow that made it easier.

“I just remember how frightened he was when he woke up. Ever since then he keeps pretending he’s fine, strong, and not still just as frightened. I think Shiro believes that if he stays happy and strong for everyone else then Matt will get better? Adam’s doing even worse. He wants to talk about it and Shiro wants to act like it never happened… I don’t know. I honestly almost didn’t even come to school this semester but Shiro wouldn’t hear of it.” Keith sighed, finally looking up at Pidge. 

Pidge’s lips were white from biting them so hard and his eyes were downcast, blinking rapidly like he was trying to not cry. 

“How’s Katie?” Keith asked, feeling it was fair to show interest in Pidge’s family too. Besides, he really did care. He may not be the best with social interaction but he’d never met her and she must be going through something awful. He knew what that felt like.

Pidge shook his head slowly, met Keith’s curious gaze, and exhaled slowly, “I don’t know.”

***

Keith had been working since he was fifteen. In theory, this meant he had enough experience to get jobs with ease. Unfortunately, the universe seemed to have it out for him in every aspect of his life. No breaks for Keith Kogane. Despite his absolute hatred for customer service, he was only ever capable of finding openings in fast food. It had been McDonald’s for two years until the stress of school and work took such a toll on him that Shiro made him quit. He hated it there anyway. Then a local fried fish joint that wreaked havoc on his skin and had some of the worst cleanliness policies he’d ever seen. 

Now he was finding himself at day one at yet another fast food job. At the very least he was finally being put on kitchen staff. (Honestly, he never understood why his last two jobs wanted him at the forefront of customer service. It wasn’t like he had a believable smile or was ever particularly great at casual niceties.) 

The building was rather small and constantly busy due to selling cheap pizza so close to the university. Keith suspected he was going to get irate quickly with the number of times his coworkers were liable to bump into him in such a cramped area. 

Patience yields focus, or whatever.

The owner, Kolivan, was a reserved older man with long white hair he kept tied in a knot when he entered that morning to start training Keith. It was meant to take two hours so he wasn’t entirely sure what he had been expecting but it was quite different.

He was taken around the back area in a quick tour to be introduced with every machine. Kolivan then showed him the steps for each station, explaining as they went things Keith would need to keep in mind for safety with each machine. After that, they went back into Kolivan’s office so Keith could sign some paperwork.

“Marmora Pizzeria is a very private company and asks that their processes and details about the machines not be disclosed with anyone. Pictures and videos are not allowed to be taken inside the restaurant. Failure to follow these policies will result in immediate termination and depending on the case could lead to being sued. Just sign here,” Kolivan slid a paper across the computer desk for Keith to take a look at. 

This was nothing new for him, his last job had very similar requirements so he didn’t bother skimming it before signing and returning the paper. 

“Alright, that’s just about it. You’ll be starting at minimum wage as you were likely informed and whenever you’ve mastered a station there will be a raise of twenty-five cents.” Kolivan said, beginning to move out of the office and scanning the schedule posted on the back of the pop machine. “Looks like you’re already on here. Did they tell you when your first shift was?” 

Keith nodded. 

“Okay, you’ll start training on dough first thing tomorrow. Either my husband or I will be training you and get you clocked in so see you tomorrow.” Kolivan finished, handing Keith the uniform. 

“See you.” Keith shuffled the clothing so he didn’t lose the two visors and made his way out the door. He was so busy, however, trying to keep the visors balanced on top of the shirts that he nearly ran into someone entering the building.

“Oh, I’m sorry didn’t- No. Not you again.” Lance frowned the moment he recognized him. 

Keith blinked at the sudden hostility. He had just gotten the impression that Lance was just a complete tool but Lance had been ready to apologize until he recognized him. Honestly, he’d had enough of it. “Seriously, what is your problem?” Keith demanded.

Lance shook his head and pushed past him, walking backward as he adjusted the visor on his head and pointed a dramatic finger Keith’s direction. “Like you don’t know. Just so you know, I’m considering this move a declaration of war!” 

“Lance, come on. Not everyone understands you’re joking. I can’t have you scaring off the newbies.” The girl at the register complained, rolling her eyes at Lance’s antics.

Lance shook his head, glaring daggers in Keith’s direction as he clocked in, “Nah, he won’t be going anywhere. He’s just as competitive as me. You’ll see, Nadia.”

Keith scoffed and decided to leave before the tension could worsen. The last thing he needed was this dick getting him fired before he could even start. He was not going to be goaded into a fight, especially not when the owner of the place was literally on the premises. 

Marmora’s was only a few blocks from campus but it was still enough time to calm the irritation stirring in Keith’s chest. Luckily, despite the hold up with Lance, Keith had finished a whole half hour earlier than planned. Maybe he could get squeeze episode of  _ Gravity Falls _ in before he started studying for his syllabus exams. 

Keith was humming the theme song under his breath as he opened his dorm door, grateful they’d decided to keep it unlocked for the most part so he didn’t have to juggle his things trying to get to his key. He might have even missed it if he hadn’t scared Pidge so badly he slammed himself into his wardrobe and fell over. 

“Pidge?” Keith asked and then froze in his spot, the door closing automatically behind him. 

Pidge was staring up at him doing his best to cover his chest with his arms but he was just so small that it did no good. Keith could see the ace bandages wrapped so tightly around his torso. Keith only took a moment to process this before setting his things down on the sink counter and turning around to give Pidge some privacy.

“Pidge, I am so sorry.” 

Pidge mumbled something incoherent as Keith stared intently at the door. He felt so completely awful. He could remember what it had been like the first time he came out to someone, what it was like to lose that control after he was outed to the entire middle school…. Pidge didn’t deserve that. Pidge deserved to decide when he was ready to tell Keith and in whatever way he wanted to. The humiliation of this way… Keith would almost take his bullies in middle school. 

“Listen, if this is going to be a problem I can go to administration and just ask for a new roommate or whatever.” Pidge huffed after telling him it was safe to turn around, arms crossed over his now t-shirt-covered chest. 

“It’s not. I… I have absolutely no issue with this. I’m just so sorry that I found out like this… I should have just knocked. Listen, I support you completely, okay?” Keith fumbled with his words in an effort to try to make this easier for Pidge.

Pidge eyed him for a moment as if checking for some kind of deceit, before slowly relaxing. “Okay. Um. Thanks.”

“If it helps any, I can come out to you too? I’m hella gay.” Keith shrugged. Fuck. That probably made things more awkward.

Pidge smiled, arms falling to his side. “So they stuck the two queer kids in a room together, huh?” 

“Guess so. Probably trying to minimize the number of complaints from the boys.” Keith smirked, glad he had successful eased the tension. 

Pidge’s eyes flicked to the floor and he started wringing his hands. “Uh, actually. I guess now would be a good time to tell you I actually prefer they/them pronouns? I’m nonbinary. I just wanted out of the girls' section because I figured people using masculine pronouns would be better than constantly being dead-named and getting dysphoria from reminders that I’m in a stupid female body… I was wrong though. Honestly, if anything it just really dismisses any uncertainty I may have had that I might be male.”

“Okay, I can do that. Is Pidge still-?” Keith asked.

Pidge nodded. “Yeah,” they laughed a little breathily. “I’m actually kind of relieved. I mean I was hoping with Shiro being you’re brother that you’d be cool too but…”

Keith’s eyes widened at the mention of Shiro, remembering the conversation he’d had with Pidge yesterday. “Oh! I just realized… does this mean you’re not Matt’s cousin? You’re his sibling.”

Pidge bit their lip nervously “Yeah… I’m sorry I lied to you. You just caught me off guard and hearing that name… I had been trying to figure out when to bring this up but with everything that happened I hadn’t told anyone before and I just didn’t feel ready to tell you. I’m kind of still shaking. I can’t believe someone actually knows.”

“It’s fine. I don’t want to overwhelm you, but actually… I’m sort of concerned? It’s just… well, I noticed you were binding with ace bandages and… that’s kind of dangerous. Because it can,” Keith shifted his weight awkwardly, feeling weird about having to educate Pidge on anything, “uh, cause rashes, damage your bruise your ribs, tear your skin…”

Pidge’s eyebrows drew together and their arms crossed again. “I… I know. I just can’t afford a binder right now and I wasn’t, wasn’t sure how to do it without, without, you know, outing myself to my family and...”

Keith smiled in understanding and sat at his desk so he could open his computer. “Come here. We’re going to order you a binder right now. I know several websites that sell some for really cheap.” 

Pidge sat down, clearly interested but they were still frowning. “Keith, I really can’t right now. With all my school supplies and I haven’t found a job yet-”

“You’ll pay me back whenever you can.” Keith shrugged, pulling up Adam’s favorite. “You just have to promise me something?” 

Pidge tore their eyes away from the selections on the screen, gratefulness all over their face. “Yeah?”

“You need to loosen those bandages because you are seriously risking cutting off your circulation. And if your back starts hurting or you can’t breathe, your chest feels cold, you have to take it off immediately. I know it sucks but please take care of yourself first. Those are symptoms of very poor circulation. If you don’t take it off it could get worse and you could faint and then someone would take you to a doctor and I’m assuming your mom is your emergency contact? Yeah. So just… be safe.” Keith said seriously.

Pidge nodded. “I promise.” 

They spent the next half hour searching for something that would fit Pidge’s body type and sent in an order. The moment it was ordered, Keith felt tight restrictions around his arms. Pidge was hugging him. 

“Thank you, Keith.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was it worth the wait? As per usual comment/feedback is super important to me so don't hold back!  
> Also... you know if you are artsy at all and wanna draw me fanart for this or any of my works it would make my whole week. My dream is to get fanart because someone was that inspired to draw. So. Just saying. It would get linked on the fic, of course.   
> Alright, I hope you're having a great day everyone!

**Author's Note:**

> If you have any questions regarding this story, the AU, or just wanna hit me up with some feedback, comments are super appreciated. Hope you enjoy and have a good day!!


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